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Healing Spiritual Wounds: Reconnecting with a Loving God After Experiencing a Hurtful Church, by Carol Howard Merritt
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An effective plan to help those suffering from wounds inflicted by the church find spiritual healing and a renewed sense of faith.
Raised as a conservative Christian, minister and author Carol Howard Merritt discovered that the traditional institutions she grew up in inflicted great pain and suffering on others. Though she loved the spirituality the church provided, she knew that, because of sexism, homophobia, and manipulative religious politics, established religious institutions weren’t always holy or safe. Instead of offering refuge, these institutions have betrayed people’s hearts and souls. “People have suffered religious abuse,” she writes, “which can be different from physical injury or psychological trauma.”
Though participation and affiliation in traditional religious institutions is waning, many people still believe in God. Merritt contends that many leave the church because they have lost trust in the institution, not in God. Healing Spiritual Wounds addresses the church’s dichotomous image—as a safe space and as a dangerous place—and provides a way to restore personal faith and connection to God for those who have been hurt or betrayed by established institutions of faith. Merritt lays out a multistage plan for moving from pain to spiritual rebirth, from recovering theological and emotional shards to recovering communal wholeness.
Merritt does not sugarcoat the wrongs institutions long seen as trustworthy have inflicted on many innocent victims. Sympathetic, understanding, and deeply positive, she offers hope and a way to help them heal and reclaim the spiritual joy that can make them whole again.
- Sales Rank: #52147 in Books
- Brand: HarperOne
- Published on: 2017-02-07
- Released on: 2017-02-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .85" w x 5.50" l, 1.42 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 240 pages
- HarperOne
Review
“Merritt has done it again. Healing Spiritual Wounds shepherds me toward God. Merritt is the honest voice, the thoughtful voice, the inviting voice, the justice voice, the personable voice that my spirit has yearned to hear. I grow closer to God and humanity with each page.” (Edward J. Blum, co-author of The Color of Christ: The Son of God and the Saga of Race in America)
“The church today is known more for creating wounds than healing them, and more people than ever are leaving faith behind as a result. Carol Howard Merritt has the right response-anyone who has been hurt by the church needs this book.” (Mike McHargue, author of Finding God in the Waves and host of The Liturgists Podcast and Ask Science Mike)
“Carol Howard Merritt gives us a wise, gentle, and practical book for all those who have been hurt by their churches, but who seek healing in their lives and reconciliations with their faith communities.” (James Martin, SJ, author of Jesus: A Pilgrimage)
“Merritt is an inspiring voice of strength, faith, and endurance and an exemplar of what it means to suffer and continue to serve. In Healing Spiritual Wounds, she shines through as an example of what it means to seek God in spite of the hurt and obstacles.” (Christian Piatt, author of postChristian and Leaving A-Holiness Behind)
“An amazing resource… emotionally intense, beautifully written, and courageously honest, and the exercises are just what you need. Healing Spiritual Wounds helped me.” (Brian D. McLaren, author of The Great Spiritual Migration)
“Healing Spiritual Wounds provides validation and comfort for anyone feeling alone within or abandoned by the church. In this much-needed book, Merritt offers practical ways to explore the sources of our brokenness. A generous guide to reconnecting with a loving God.” (Meredith Gould, author of Desperately Seeking Spirituality: A Field Guide to Practice (Liturgical Press))
“Healing Spiritual Wounds is a gift of candid and caring space for those who have been hurt by the church, and Carol Howard Merritt is a wise and gentle guide through the complex work of spiritual recovery. Welcome to a deeper, healthier faith journey.” (Rachel G. Hackenberg is the author of Sacred Pause and Writing to God)
“Merritt transfigures her own harrowing journey into wisdom for others. With the heart of a pastor and the skill of a healer, Merritt pairs moving testimony with thoughtful exercises for working through trauma. Courageous, cathartic, and deeply moving, this book is a balm for bruised believers.” (Katherine Willis Pershey, author of Any Day a Beautiful Change)
“Carol Howard Merritt gently unspools the tightly wound messages of shame and guilt that strangle spirits and cause damage to body, soul and relationships. Merritt shows the reader how to unfurl into the open space of God’s great love. An invaluable tool for faith leaders and healers of all types.” (Ruth Everhart, author of Ruined and Chasing the Divine in the Holy Land)
“Carol Howard Merritt offers a profoundly useful resource for reconciliation and rebirth. In artfully rendering the story of her life, Merritt invites others to look deeply at their own lives, and to redraw the lines of their belief, and their very selves. This book is a gift.” (Bromleigh McCleneghan, pastor and author of Good Christian Sex)
“Substantive, beautiful, and deeply relevant in a time when many of us are trying to navigate a path of healing. I highly recommend this book to everyone who has ever set foot in a church, whether organized religion is a part of your life now or not.” (David LaMotte, author, songwriter, speaker)
“Written with startling honesty . . . Merritt’s tender prose, interesting stories, and practical, workbook-based approach make this book invaluable for those working in what Pope Francis calls ‘the field hospital’ of the church.” (Publishers Weekly)
“Sexism, homophobia and church politics can cause deep spiritual wounds, agony and pain. Carol Howard Merritt, through honest reflection and faithful analysis, helps her readers towards spiritual renewal and restoration. This is a powerful and compelling must-read book for a fragmented world longing for love, hope, wholeness and healing.” (Grace Ji-Sun Kim, author of Embracing The Other)
“This book is joyful, but it’s also sobering, for it’s a reminder of how deeply religious practices can wound the spirit, and just how many people are still out there, right now, being pierced by cruelty in the name of God.” (Spirituality and Health)
“If your story includes being hurt by the church, or by religious people, this book might be just the balm you’ve been looking for.” (Off the Page)
“For anyone who has known the wounding that can come from those speaking and acting in God’s name, this book is a must. In other words, if you have ever been to church or know someone who has, this book is for you. Read. And find healing for your wounds.” (Patheos)
“Maybe you’re like me. You love the church and have never left it. But you persist in belief that honesty is the only path to truth and confession opens the door to growth. If so, you need Carol Howard Merritt’s wonderful new book, Healing Spiritual Wounds.” (Religion News Service)
Merritt’s book has been so welcome – it’s a timely template for personal reflection, and for reconciling the quest for spiritual fulfillment with our deeply flawed institutions and the people within them. (Salon)
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
... theology of her childhood to a new understanding of love, mercy and forgiveness
By Martha Spong
The Reverend Carol Howard Merritt tells her own story of moving from the punishing theology of her childhood to a new understanding of love, mercy and forgiveness. Yet this is not a memoir; it is a trail guide designed to help the reader make a similar journey. Recognizing our wounds allows us to undertake our healing, the healing God wants for all of us.
Howard Merritt grew up in the evangelical church. While attending Bible college, she made a turn in her theological understandings and became an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Her past books, Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation (Alban/Rowman and Littlefield, 2007) and Reframing Hope: Vital Ministry in a New Generation (Alban/Rowman and Littlefield, 2010), provided resources based in a deep understanding of cultural changes and generational shifts the mainline church seemed reluctant to acknowledge. Now she turns her gaze to the tradition that formed her, and to the injuries inflicted by a controlling, patriarchal system.
The chapters are organized around areas in our lives that might need healing from wounds inflicted by the church: our image of God, our emotions, our broken selves, our bodies, our hope, even our finances. Howard Merritt shares pieces of her personal story as well as the experiences of others whose stories illustrate each concept. At the end of every chapter, she includes exercises designed for use by individuals or groups. The exercises employ scripture, art, encounters with nature, journalling and other forms of reflection. A range of questions prompt the reader to consider and reconsider events that may have been harmful. I found the prompts to be creative, gentle, and pastoral.
I grew up in a downtown Southern Baptist church that didn’t seem to differ much from the mainline downtown churches of my childhood, and I have done a lot of psychological and spiritual work over the past thirty years. I thought, as I began reading, “This book will be a great tool for others.” As I got in deeper, I recognized the places where I learned something new years ago that I accepted intellectually, but never at the heart or gut level. Any of us who grew up influenced by the patriarchy can find some good work to do with this beautiful book.
Carol Howard Merritt is an intellectual force in the life of the 21st century church, an artist and a mystic, and a genuine example of a faithful Christian who has done and is doing her work. This book is recommended for individuals and groups, for men and women, for anyone who has been hurt by the church or wonders what people mean when they say they have been hurt by the church. The book will be released on Tuesday, February 7. You can give the author a boost by pre-ordering a copy now.
I received a free advance copy of the book in exchange for my honest review. I also purchased a copy via Amazon pre-order.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Contemplative and Hopeful.
By NORMAN B CUBBAGE
I am a friend of Carol Howard Merritt, and my wife, Candasu, is an even closer one. I have had the pleasure of hearing about the genesis of this book for some time through Candasu, who read an earlier version and offered notes. (She is mentioned in the acknowledgements.)
The book was worth the wait. Merritt does a great job of naming the most salient causes of spiritual wounds for people who have encountered hurtful religion: Physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual abuse and the rush to blame victims for their own abuse; patriarchy and complementarian theology that teaches women they are lesser beings; homophobia and shame of our bodies and sexuality; and a "transactional" view of relationships that teaches us that we are only worth the money and wealth we possess. Rather than dwelling at length on the pervasiveness of these sources of spiritual wounds-- and they are pernicious and widespread-- Merritt focuses on ways to help those who have been wounded, but want to retain a connection to their spirituality, find a way forward.
I found Merritt's discussion of finances and the "transactional" view of relationships refreshing and helpful. It's not what I am used to seeing discussed in this context, but shame and exploitation around finances and debt is widespread, both within churches and without. I work in a law practice that does consumer law and personal bankruptcy, and I can attest to the crippling shame and crisis of self-worth that comes with being in debt over your head. Merritt discusses those issues with sensitivity and real insight.
My advice to anyone inclined to read this book who doesn't already know the author and her other work would be to prepare to read it twice. The first read-through will give you a sense of the overall framework of the book and Carol's overall perspective towards spiritual life and spiritual healing. The second read will give you an opportunity to work through the helpful spiritual exercises that accompany each chapter.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Heart-filled Hope.
By Michelle Fave
This much awaited book arrived, and I devoured it. Carol Howard Merritt generously takes us readers on a healing journey. Her poetic voice and heart-filled hope is compelling reading. And I'm moved by the way that this deep personal story offers practical steps for anyone on a path of religious recovery when so many of us, of all faith traditions and practices (or none) have been harmed by "spiritual" leaders and institutions. In connecting tradition with women's wisdom, Healing Spiritual Wounds is a companion, a guide and a comfort. Thank you Carol for your words and inspiration.
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